There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically.
The most common techniques include touching the anal
opening while masturbating or stimulating a
partner's anus during intercourse or oral sex.
Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger -
their own or a lover's - insinuated into their anal
opening and gently rotated. Others may prefer the
insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the anal
opening and short anal canal into the larger rectum.
Many men, including hetereosexuals, prefer this form
of penetration.
Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as
rimming. The very idea disgusts some people. Others
enjoy performing it or allowing themselves to be
probed in this special way.
2. Anal stimulation, including intercourse, is
not painful if done properly.
The belief that anal stimulation, especially
intercourse, has to hurt is a persistent and
dangerous myth. Just as pain anywhere in the body
indicates that something is wrong, so is the same
true of the anal area. With its high concentration
of nerve endings, the anus can produce extreme agony
when it is mistreated. Yet it can be a source of
great pleasure.
When a finger, object or penis is intorduced into
the anus, the anal muscles go into spasm, as if
fighting off an invasion. Pain will result if the
partners do not wait for these muscles to relax.
Under sufficient stress they will eventually
collapse and the pain subside, unless further damage
is done. But, any 'pleasure' afforded from this kind
of activity derives mostly from the absence of
discomfort.
Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of
all pain or physical trauma from the anal experience.
Self-protection on the part of the passive partner
involves being ready to say "no" until he or she is
ready to proceed. Readiness is a combination of
physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty
of leisurely anal touching, and desire.
Occasionally the anal muscles are relaxes, but
the passive partner is still not in the mood.
Stimulation should mount only in proportion to the
degree of receptivity.
3. Anal sex can be enjoyed even if it has been
consistently uncomfortable in the past.
Sufficient desire alone does not necessarily
guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Nor is an
uncomfortable previous experience always the reason
for a lack of interest in or desire for anal sex.
Chronic anal tension is the most common cause of
anal discomfort during sex. Hemorrhoids and
constipation are usually a sign of this condition.
Tension can be relieved by touching the anus and
becoming more familiar with it. An ideal time to
explore the anal opening is while taking a shower or
bath. Deep breathing also affects the anal muscles.
Tensing the anus and the letting go in another way
of learning to relax it. Anyone who enjoys
masturbation might want to experiment with some form
of anal stimulation, though he or she should stop if
any discomfort occurs.
For many people the turning point in anal sex is
when they allow a partner to massage the anus with
the understanding that intercourse will not be
attempted. Then the recipient of anal caresses can
concentrate solely on the pleasure that this
erogenous zone is capable of generating.
4. Two muscle rings called sphincters surround
the anal opening. Each functions independently.
If you insert a finger about one half-inch into
your anus and press your fingertip against the side,
you can clearly feel the two sphincter muscles.
There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The
external sphincter is controlled by the central
nervous system - just like the muscles of the hand,
for example. You can readily tense and relax this
sphincter whenever you want.
The internal sphincter is quite different. This
muscle is controlled by the involuntary or autonomic
part of the nervous system, which governs such
functions as heartbeat and stress response.
The internal sphincter reflects and responds to
fear and anxiety during anal sex. It will cause the
anus to tense up automatically even if the passive
partner is trying to relax. Thus, precautions about
safety and comfort are essential here.
Even if a person does feel comfortable during
anal sex, he or she may still need to learn
voluntary control over his or her internal sphincter
in order to relax it at will. Doing so requires
regularly inserting a finger, perhaps in the shower
each day, and feeling the internal sphincter. The
muscle changes spontaneously and in response to
behavior. In this instance, simply paying attention
is more important than trying to relax. Anyone can
gradually learn to control the internal sphincter at
will.
5. Anal stimulation provides many kinds of
pleasure
The highest concentration of nerve endings is
around the anal opening itself. A finger can focus
on them especailly effectively. When an object or
penis is inserted beyond the anal opening into the
rectum, other pleasures are involved. The outer
protion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several
nerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to
pressure.
Some people enjoy the feelings of pressure and
fullness once they understand that these sensations
do not presage an impending bowel movement. Rectal
pressure is especially important to enthusiasts of "fisting,"
a form of anal sex in which several fingers or een
the entire hand and forearm are inserted into the
rectum and sometimes into the lower colon.
In men, the protate - which is just beyond the
rectal wall, a few inches in, towards the front of
the body - can be a source of pleasure when massaged
by a finger, an object, or a penis. Also, the lower
end of the penis, or "bulb," is near the anal
opening opening. It is stimulated indirectly by most
types of anal sex.
Anal pleasure can be psychological as well as
physical. The anal taboo adds to the thrill of the
forbidden. The most common anti-anal message (it's
dirty!) sometimes returns as a source of raunchy,
sleazy excitement. Rimming enthusiasts may enjoy the
feeling that they are being disgustingly - and
delightfully - perverse. Other people regard the
anus as a secret, special place. Sharing it with a
partner is an act of openness and giving.
6. Anal stimulation can lead to orgasm
A minority of men and women can respond
orgasmically to anal sex without direct genital
stimulation. Women probably do so through pelvic
muscle contractions - and a small minority even
though the sheer excitement of being anally
penetrated. When men expereience an orgasm from anal
stimulation, they tend to focus on the prostate. No
doubt they are also responding to indirect
stimulation of the penile bulb.
Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to
occur when the participants become thoroughly
absorbed in their sensations and fantasies. An lmost
certain way to prevent such an orgasm is to be
become determined to have one. Seeking an anal
orgasm will create new pressures and disrupt the
pleasure.
It must be remembered that most people require
direct genital stimulation in order to climax. On
the other hand, a few people have orgasms only with
anal stimulation.
7. Diet contributes to the enjoyment of anal
sex
Regular bowel movements are the major function of
the anus and rectum. There must be sufficient fiber
in a person's diet to make his or her feces soft,
bulky and well formed. This allows a bowel movement
to be produced without force or effort. Forced
evacuations irritate anal tissues, causing
discomfort and adding to muscular tensions. Fresh
fruits, vegetables, whole grains or unprocessed bran
are important sources of fiber.
8. Different rules of hygiene apply to the
vagina and rectum
Since intercourse can be vaginal or rectal, many
people assume the the same rules apply for the
penetration of the vagina and rectum. Although both
are lined with soft tissue and are capable of
expanding, they are radically dissimilar.
The rectum is not straight. After the short anal
canal which connects the anal opening to the rectum,
the rectum tilts toward the front of the body. A few
inches in, it curves back - sometimes as much as 90
degrees. Then, after a few more inches, it swoops
toward the front of the body once again. A person
can learn about the shape of his or her rectum by
gently inserting a soft object, trying different
angles and body positions and concentrating on how
it feels. Make sure the object has a flared base so
that if you loose your grip, it won't slip into the
rectum and become irretrievable.
The rectum does not produce lubrication like the
vagina but only a small amount of mucus. Therefore,
rectal penetration always requires a lubricant.
Chemical additives should be avoided. Water-based
lubricants are latex-compatible.
The main function of the rectum is to act as a
passageway for feces. But feces are not normally
stored in the rectum except just prior to a bowel
movement. Yet small amounts may remain in the rectum,
expecially if the feces are not well formed. Anal
douching before lovemaking will help some people
especailly concerned with cleanliness to relax. For
others the idea of dirtiness heightens the joy of
the forbidden; for them, douching is anti-erotic.
9. Anal intercourse is not necessarily an act
of dominance and submission.
The top-bottom imagery associated with anal
intercourse is widespread. No doubt the belief that
anal sex has to hurt contributes to this notion. And
in fact some people are intensely excited by top-bottom
fantasies about anal sex. The thought that they are
submitting to such a degrading act is a terrific
thrill. However, actual, not fantasized, anal pain
can lead to trouble.
For others, the enjoyment of anal sex is
inhibited by top-bottom imagery. The idea of
surrendering control, and perhaps submitting to
humiliation, causes immediate, protective tensing of
the anal muscles. These individuals are more likely
to relax and enjoy themselves if they can learn to
regard anal sex as pleasurable rather than as an
expression of power.
10. Anal sex can be perfectly safe, even
beneficial.
The taboo against anal eroticism is perpetuated
by the almost universal belief among physicians that
anal sex is inevitably dangerous. No physical injury
from anal stimulation results if both partners
refuse to tolerate pain, never use force and avoid
the use of drugs.
All the other risks center on sexually
transmitted diseases. Each of the common STDs -
gonorrhea, syphillis, herpes - can affect the anus.
Intestinal parasites, bacteria or tiny bugs are
usually passed along when fecal matter finds its way
into someone's mouth or vagina, most likely through
rimming.
AIDS has complicated the matter. The HIV virus
can pass from the semen or blood of an infected
person to the bloodstream of a partner through a
tiny break in the rectal tissue during anal
intercourse.
To avoid this risk, anal intercourse and rimming
should not be practiced casually. Those who do enjoy
anal intercourse should always use a condom. Rimming
should always be accomplished by a latex barrier. Of
course, in a monogamous realtionship with two
healthy people, the risk of disease transmitted
anally is reduced.
Thousands of men and women with chronic anal
medical problems have restored their anal health by
challenging their negative attitudes. This approach
is indespensible for full erotic enjoyment of the
anus.
